Well I'll be damned


How Catholics calculate purgatory sentences. - By Nina Shen Rastogi - Slate Magazine

Yes, I will.  Reintroducing indulgences is an interesting ploy-- a bit like bringing back geocentrism.  I suppose it's hard to compete with charistmatic revivalist religions like Pentacostalism (great Economist piece) and Mormonism.

Of course, as one priest points out, "“The good news is we’re not selling them anymore.”"

But what's the point?  One of the parishoners asked, "What is five years in terms of eternity?”"

I put together a quick spreadsheet to try and calculate how long I'll be enjoying Purgatory, but there doesn't seem to be any clear equation...  Any suggestions?

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Sins (deadly)DemonVirtuePurgatory = (sin+demon) - (virtue+penance)?Penance

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Lust (luxuria)AsmodeusChastitypurged by burning in an immense wall of flameConfession

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Gluttony (gula)BeelzebubTemperancepurged by abstaining from any food or drinkCommunion

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Greed (avaritia)MammonCharitypurged by lying face-down on the ground, unable to movePray for the pope

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Sloth (acedia)BelphegoDiligencepurged by continually runningAchieve "complete detachment from any inclination to sin."

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Wrath (ira)SatanPatiencepurged by walking around in acrid smoke?

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Envy (invidia)LeviathanKindness purged by having their eyes sewn shut and wearing clothing that makes the soul indistinguishable from the ground

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Pride (superbia)LuciferHumilitypurged by carrying giant stones on their backs
Posted by Eric Verkerke

3 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 19, 2009 at 4:57 PM

    And actually, I've read that the swing toward conservatism in the Catholic church is very much related to the rise of Pentecostalism that you mention-- Pope Benedict sees the battleground of Catholicism as being Africa and other developing countries, where the competing religion, spreading like mad, is Pentecostal. ... How is it that as we become more global our religions are becoming ever more fundamentalist and isolationist?

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  2. UnknownFebruary 19, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    PS- Fascinating article on Pentecostalism versus Christianity in Africa: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/nigeria/3

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  3. Eric VerkerkeFebruary 19, 2009 at 10:25 PM

    I think Benjamin Barber's Jihad vs Mcworld captured it pretty well:

    "The tendencies of what I am here calling the forces of Jihad and the forces of McWorld operate with equal strength in opposite directions, the one driven by parochial hatreds, the other by universalizing markets, the one re-creating ancient subnational and ethnic borders from within, the other making national borders porous from without. They have one thing in common: neither offers much hope to citizens looking for practical ways to govern themselves democratically. If the global future is to pit Jihad's centrifugal whirlwind against McWorld's centripetal black hole, the outcome is unlikely to be democratic—or so I will argue."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jihad_vs._McWorld
    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/199203/barber

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